Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
