You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
It's official drugs can't kill me
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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