is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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