How'd it feel making her break her religion?
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
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