im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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