At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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