I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize