Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
