it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
