I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
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