Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
