And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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