hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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