sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
