omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Randomize
