ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
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