And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
