hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
splinters make it hard to masturbate
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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