I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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