God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
