Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
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