i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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