just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
