strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
