just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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