I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
