And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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