I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
