Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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