why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
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