sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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