Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
