Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
