We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Randomize