A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Randomize
