This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
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