lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
