this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Man, jail baloney is awful.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
