There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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