i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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