It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
