Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
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