if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Randomize
