That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Randomize
