i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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