New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
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