I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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