Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
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