never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I understand Curling. That high.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I forgot wine drunk hurts
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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