K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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