She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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