His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
