Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
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