Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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