it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Randomize
