is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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