Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Lo siento on account of my penis...
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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