I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize