Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
