I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
You can't special order awesome
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
